3 Must Haves for Better Communication in Your Marriage
A few hours to days have gone by and the chemistry in the home is not quite right. Something happened, words were exchanged and the communication has currently deteriorated. You don’t feel like talking but you know you need to, and if you didn’t know, well you need to (Ephesians 4:26). Communication is absolutely key to a strong healthy relationship.
One clue that my husband was the one was our effortless communication. Since the very first conversation, communication between us came easy. Till this day it’s still one of our strengths. Conversation was never awkward or forced and I was always comfortable being myself. Our communication always honored God and it was fruitful for the both of us.
In order to protect what we have, periodically, we need to reset by having a “talk”. “Can we talk?” one of us will usually initiate.
I encourage every couple to have a “talk” occasionally, as needed. There are times in marriage when the oneness can become shaky and a simple mature conversation could be the remedy. It’s healthy to express love and emotions through words regularly. However, bad communication can produce bad consequences. Just as easy as it is to build and strengthen your relationship with your words, you can easily destroy it with words as well.
In order to prevent a “talk” gone wrong, it important to enter the conversation with the right heart and use wise tactics.
Here are 3 tips for better communication in your marriage:
1. A Desire to Please God
Pleasing God should be our highest goal in life (2 Cor. 5:9). When entering a conversation with our spouse we should also keep in mind that we are accountable to God for everything we communicate (Matt. 12:36). If our greatest desire is to please Him, even when we’re upset, we’ll be more mindful of our choice of word and communication efforts.
When having a “talk” with our spouse, we may hear some things about ourselves that may be hard to receive. This will require humility (Eph. 4:1-3). Your spouse is the closest one to you, they’ll be able to recognize things about yourself you may overlook. Your spouse can also help you recognize any wrong use of counter-productive means of communication!
3.Prefer to Listen.
Although I call this conversation the “talk,” you should actually prefer to listen. You may be tempted to just say what you have to say, however, scripture encourages us to be swift to listen and slow to speak (James 1:19). You must know how to listen (Proverbs 18:13) by not interrupting or formulating what you are going to say while your spouse is talking.
It’s important to God for us to have good communication in our relationships. Problems can be clarified and resolved, wrong ideas can be corrected, forgiveness and trust is exercised easier and good decision-making follows. Be sure to examine your heart and intentions before your next “talk.”